Self Esteem

Self esteem is our ability to value ourselves. It relates to the opinions we hold about ourselves. This is important because your thoughts and perceptions of yourself affect the way in which you feel and behave.

It is a basic human need in all of us to feel wanted, loved and valued. If these needs are met we will usually develop a positive sense of self, however if we have too many negative thoughts about ourselves it can affect our functioning and we may not be able to reach our full potential. Negative life events such as health issues, relationship problems, trouble at work or coping with loss can evoke feelings of rejection. For some people this will be temporary but for others this can have a longer lasting effect.

How low self esteem can effect us:

Emotions - you may feel depressed, hurt, angry, frustrated, anxious, ashamed, guilty.

Thoughts - negative, self critical thoughts such as I'm not good enough, I'm stupid or its my fault.

Behaviours - always trying to please others, getting defensive when we believe we're being criticised, under-achieving or working harder to compensate or cover up our 'incompetence', avoiding certain situations and people, being shy or passive around others, neglecting or abusing ourselves.

In reality we are all different. You may be good at some things and not as good at others. There may be some things we work to change about ourselves but other things which we are accepting of and are proud of.

Suggestions to help improve your self esteem

• Do something you enjoy doing.
• Learn a new skill, this can help you develop a sense of achievement.
• Eating well and exercising can help you to look and feel good. This can help in making you feel more confident about your own body.
• Take time to look after your physical appearance.
• Remember to treat yourself. Reward yourself for the things you have achieved and give yourself praise for the good things you do.
• Nobody is perfect. If you do need help with something don't be afraid to ask for it.
• Spend time with people who make you feel good. Avoid those people who make you feel bad about yourself.
• Make an effort to interact with other people. Say hello, pay compliments, start conversations.

Related Issues

People who are experiencing problems with their self esteem may also be facing problems in other areas of their lives. The topics listed below may be of interest to you:

• Alcohol & Drugs
• Employment
• Relationship Issues
• Self Harm