A Self Help Guide by Northumberland, Tyne and Wear NHS Foundation Trust.
Bereavement
Bereavement is the experience of grief which we may feel after someone has died. It can be a particularly difficult time for anybody and the range of emotions you can feel may vary greatly.
Some of the common reactions you might feel include:
- Numb
- Agitated
- Angry
- Guilty
- Relieved
- Sad
- Reflective
Some people may struggle with bereavement, they may be unable to cry or find they are continuing their lives as normal without mourning their loss. Some people may remain in shock and refuse to believe their loved one has died. In some cases such as stillbirth, miscarriage or abortions people may feel confused about their loss and may be surprised at their grieving response. People in these situations may find they are dealing with unresolved grief.
Some people may find that they could benefit from talking therapies to help them through their bereavement. You can speak to your GP who may refer you to a counsellor.
You can help yourself through this time. Allow yourself time to mourn and remember this is a normal process and it will at some stage come to an end. You can make things easier by taking extra care of yourself during this time. Eat well, try to get some exercise and take time to rest properly.
Advice for friends and family
- Spend time with the person and be willing to listen if they want to talk about their loved one or their feelings.
- Help with practical tasks. It is important that the person grieving continues to eat properly and look after themselves. You may be able to help by offering to cook or assisting with household chores. If the person has young children you could offer to babysit so they are able to make funeral arrangements etc or you may wish to do this just to allow the person some time to themselves.
- Birthdays, anniversaries or the festive season may be especially difficult for a bereaved person, particularly in the first year after their loss so they may need extra support around these times.
Resources
Useful links
Related Issues
People who have been bereaved may experience other problems in their lives. The following topics may be of interest to you:
Resources
-
Bereavement -
Coping with Bereavement
Information for Patients by NHS Lanarkshire.
-
Cruse Leaflet
Cruse is a national charity that provides advice, information and support to anyone who has been bereaved.
Useful links
Breathing Space
Anyone can feel down or depressed from time to time. If you feel like it’s all getting too much for you, it helps to get some breathing space. Just talking about it is a positive first step in getting help: call on 0800 83 85 87 or visit www.breathingspacescotland.co.uk for more information.
www.breathingspacescotland.co.uk
Cruse Bereavement Service
Everyone experiences bereavement at some stage in their lives. You may find yourself overwhelmed by your emotions but it is possible to work through this and come to terms with your loss. If you feel that you need extra support, Cruse Bereavement Care Scotland can help you through this difficult time. They offer one to one counselling sessions and also have a national helpline: 0845 600 2227
www.crusescotland.org.uk/
Mind Charity
Mind's vision is of a society that promotes and protects good mental health for all, and that treats people with experience of mental distress fairly, positively, and with respect. Mind operates local services throughout England and Wales, but for people outside these areas their website also contains invaluable information on various mental health issues. The charity operates a helpline: 0845 766 0163
www.mind.org.uk
Samaritans
Samaritans provides confidential non-judgemental emotional support, 24 hours a day for people who are experiencing feelings of distress or despair, including those which could lead to suicide. Tel: 08457 90 90 90
jo@samaritans.org
Shetland Bereavement Support Service
Bereavement is an experience for all of us at some point in our lives. Although it can seem really difficult, finding someone to talk to about how you’re feeling can be an important first step in coming to terms with the death of someone close. When you’re going through something so painful, it is hard to believe that anyone else can understand. This can lead to feeling isolated and finding it hard to talk to friends and family so you may find it easier to speak to a bereavement support worker. Telephone 01595 743933 (there is an answer machine for calls made after normal working hours)
www.shetland-communities.org.uk/sbss/
Moodjuice
Moodjuice - Bereavement self help guide
www.moodjuice.scot.nhs.uk/bereavement.asp
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